13 Comments
Dave Halsey
2/9/2015 02:48:38 am
This is going to be a good one Brad. A couple things jumped out on Day 1. Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. That means both the husband and wife give 100%, even if the other party is not. There are no "if/then" statements in marriage. Also, don't let people tell you that Ephesians 5:22-23 teaches that men are superior to women. This scripture is used against Christians all the time. When Paul says "wives, submit to your husbands" and "husbands, love your wives like Jesus loves the church", he is talking about our "attitude" towards each other, and joint responsibility to give the relationship 100%. Men are not automatically given the right to lead our families, but it should be something we desire to do.
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Brad
2/9/2015 11:18:43 am
Excellent point Dave, marriage is not 50/50 it is 100/100. We must love our wives like Christ love the church meaning that we love them no matter what! In the beginning I would always expect something in return when I would do something for here. Well I can tell you that became very frustrating fast. God wants us to become one flesh. Gives me a entirely different perspective on marriage.
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Brad
2/10/2015 11:06:07 am
Yes. We heat up like a microwave while our wives are more crock pots. This romancing of our wives goes directly back to knowing her love language.
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Dave
2/11/2015 01:01:02 am
Wow Brad, you picked a very delicate and sensual topic in this latest devotional. After reading day 2 and day 3, I was reminded of something that I have learned along the way, and believe me, made tons of mistakes in this area. Anyway, it's important for us not to create an "expectation" of sex with our spouses. It puts a lot of pressure on them and when we start making "the move", well it kind of stresses them out. We need to attend to those love languages first and build that trust and intimacy as the first priority. That's my observation on the matter.
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Brad
2/11/2015 01:18:21 am
Great observation, that is certainly very hard to do for many of us. Anybody else have any observations to share?
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Brad
2/11/2015 10:15:22 am
Tough questions:
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Dave H
2/11/2015 10:48:58 am
Oh boy, I am squirming in my seat! Okay, to be completely honest, it is primarily for my own pleasure. However, Deb and I are in a very secure place when it comes to this topic. It didn't happen overnight, but after many years of marriage and working through these issues. P.S. If I asked Debbie this question she would laugh at me. That's just the way it is. :-)
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Brad
2/13/2015 11:58:37 am
Anybody still reading this devotional?
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Dave H
2/13/2015 12:07:56 pm
Hi Brad. Yep, I'm still doing them daily. This is an area that Deb and I have tackled together, and I feel like we are in a really good place, but I'm still learning. My biggest regret is that knowing what I know now, I wish I would have waited for her and for her only. But, it didn't go down that way and I'm very thankful for where we are today. I'm also very impressed with the material the YouVersion is putting out and hope we can continue doing these devotionals throughout the year. Thanks for setting this one up!
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Dave
2/14/2015 09:31:50 am
Best devotional of the week so far is day 6. Big lesson here. A hugely fatal mistake we make as men is to withhold ourselves from our wives. They don't come through for us, so we close our heart to them as some type of punishment. The person who actually gets punished is us. Yes, there is always a time to take a "time-out", but to purposely retreat as a way to get back at our spouse is just plain wrong and everyone loses. If this is still a problem for you, get it into the light and deal with it. This type of behavior is a "relationship killer", to quote George Costanza.
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Brad
2/14/2015 09:36:58 am
My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him. (Song of Solomon 5:4 KJV)
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Dave H
2/14/2015 09:43:52 am
She may have had diverticulitis. Just a theory. Actually, the NIV states "my heart began to pound". I think it is talking about having the "butterflies". Now I know why Jewish kids are not allowed to read Song of Solomon until after they are 13. Wow!
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Brad
2/14/2015 09:49:12 am
Makes sense. Otherwise very messy
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