Would love to get your thoughts as we go through the 7 day devotional together
14 Comments
Dave Halsey
2/2/2015 09:40:25 am
Interesting devotional on day 1. Debbie agreed (reluctantly) to do the "for her" devotional which I am really happy about.
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Dave Halsey
2/3/2015 12:12:58 am
If you are not familiar with the 5 Love Languages, you will be. They are 1) Quality Time, 2) Physical Touch, 3) Words of Affirmation, 4) Gifts, 5) Acts of Service.
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Dave Halsey
2/4/2015 12:27:01 am
So, the first two love languages we covered are 1) Quality Time, and 2) Gifts.
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Tilly
2/4/2015 02:26:03 am
To all...as I read today of "quality time"...and to relate it to the verse of John 15:13 - "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends."
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Dave Halsey
2/4/2015 03:03:39 am
Great stuff Tilly! And the secret sauce is, like Jim Caldwell said, we fill our glasses up all the way, we don't divide them into parts. We go all in. In this case, we are not doing it to check it off the list or to go through the motions, but doing it consistently because that is love, and being 100% present. I dare you guys to ask your wife/significant other if they believe they are a top priority in your life. (either now or at some point during or immediately after this study). Be ready for any answer and just listen. Put your ego aside. Remember, your wife doesn't own the report card on you, only God does. So keep that in perspective.
Brad
2/4/2015 10:11:49 am
OK, Dave I will take you up on your dare. I am glad it was not a truth or dare situation. In regards to yours and Tilly's comments I think I have to be called out on this love language. I am sure I do not make quality time with Charla a priority. I am sure this is no coincidence at all but I am also reading the "way of wisdom " by Boyd Bailey. Today's devotional is titled value others more!
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Dave Halsey
2/5/2015 02:00:28 am
Okay, so we are in day 4 and so far hit on 3 Love Languages: Quality Time, Gifts, and Acts of Service. Your significant other probably has a primary and secondary love language, or maybe a tie for first place. I used to be the least handy person in the world, and am still challenged. However, my wife's primary love language is "Acts of Service", so when I started taking ownership of this I was amazed at how much positive feedback I was getting (yes, I like Words of Affirmation), and it just fueled my fire to want to do more. Every relationship is different. Perhaps your wife "expects" acts of service to be part of the deal and it is not as much of a love language than an expectation. I'd be interested to know if anyone has that situation and how you dealt with it (or do you need to). I used to hold things in and just let it stew, but as I matured and our relationship matured, I tend to just put things out on the table and let Deb know how I feel. It can be painful but it always results in positive relationship growth. Have a blessed day!
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Brad
2/5/2015 10:27:21 am
I learned the hard way that gifts was not one of my wife's love language. Years and years of buying flowers and gifts to no avail.
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Brad
2/6/2015 09:14:05 am
Acts of service: well unlike DH I sort of enjoy doing these almost to a fault. Soon as I get a honey do list I immediately get started on it. Although this may not be one of her love languages I really don't mind doing these things including doing the dishes or other daily house hold chores. The other night I tried to help out by folding laundry but I didn't do it right. Still. It is the thought that counts right?
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Dave Halsey
2/6/2015 09:24:00 am
Stay away from my wife!! :-) One thing that is clear is that all the love languages are important, but certain ones need to be emphasized over others based on our spouses primary love language(s). And obviously we can't use these powers to manipulate them to get what we want. Oh yes, I have been guilty of that one. The problem is they see right through our motives.
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Dave Halsey
2/6/2015 09:26:55 am
On a side note, dang where is everyone else? Based on all the prayer requests for marriages and relationships, I thought for sure this one would be hot. Glad you and Tilly have jumped on board. I just really expected this to be an invaluable week. Oh well, Debbie and I have had some nice little chats also.
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Brad
2/6/2015 09:30:23 am
Two words: reject passivity
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Dave Halsey
2/7/2015 03:27:27 am
Day 6: I came up with this saying but I probably stole it from someone. "A man who can't say sorry is a sorry man". Apologizing and asking for forgiveness is HUGE in a relationship. I believe this is a 6th love language. Just being vulnerable and being sincere about our mess ups. We all need to take this one to heart!
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Dave Halsey
2/8/2015 05:52:06 am
LOL! I just realized I skipped "Day 1", and it took me a while to figure out why it wasn't showing me as finished. Anyway, have you tapped into the key Love Language(s) of your significant other? Words of Affirmation/Encouragement, Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch? All of these are important of course. But there may be 1 or 2 that are dominant. This week was fun for Debbie and I. Hope you also got something out of it. I read this book about 10 years ago and it backfired on me because I thought her love languages were the same as mine... WRONG! It wasn't until about 5 years ago that I made a commitment to changing my ways to be more focused on her love languages...HUGE BREAKTHROUGH! Besides our relationship with God, the relationship with our Wife is THE most important. Ahead of work, ahead of the children, ahead of the Band of Brothers, ahead of extended family. If it ain't right, then we ain't right!
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